Richard’s Buffet specializes in cuisine that transports your tastebuds to international ports of call, waterside taverns, and the finest brothels of Europe, Asia, and the Caribbean. Our chefs specialize in delectable presentations of the finest meats from around the world. Spicy jerks paired with rum flights that leave you salivating for more. Push your boundaries with our Thai inspired specialty, “One Night in Bang Cock”, that turns up the heat and pushes the limits of your personal salivatory experience.
Tasty dishes
FOR LUNCH
EVERYDAY 12:00 PM - 2:00 PM
Italian Style
Penis bolognese + roasted brussel sprouts + peeno gregio
$17.00
Kids Lunch
Steaming ballpark franks + small caesar salad /w mini wieners + apple juice
$10.00
For Meat Lovers
Bone-in, prime cut, dry-aged penis + grilled corn + peeno grigio
$25.50
Light Winter Lunch
Bone broth + caesar salad + coffee
$15.00
Party with us!
UPCOMING EVENTS
Upcoming
RICK ROLL NIGHT
November 05, 7 p.m.
We’re no strangers to love. You know the rules and so do I. A full commitment’s what I’m thinking of. You wouldn’t get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling. Gotta make you understand.
Never gonna give you up. Never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry. Never gonna say goodbye. Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.
Upcoming
BIG BADDA BOOM
July 04, 7 p.m.
Come celebrate the birth of a nation, assuming democracy is still a thing, with a big mouthful of dicks. Full bags are 50% off to celebrate democracy! Half bags are $200 and if you order one we’ll punch you in the dick. If you don’t have a dick we’ll get you one and punch it.
Upcoming
Cinco De Penis
May 05, 7 p.m.
Enjoy some chef’s reserve tequilas and dicks. One night special on The Whammer: get your meal for free if you can eat the entire board in one setting.
Gallery
OUR INTERIOR
What people
SAY ABOUT US
When I need a bag of dicks to fill up my mouth hole this is the only place I will go. People have been telling me to eat here my entire life and I gotta admit the food is amazing. A little heavy on the penis, but it’s in the name!
Donald Grump, Jr.
(White Lightening)
Regular customer
WOW! The Teenie Beanie Weenie was exactly as advertised and I can’t get enough! This place is tops in my book.
DOODY GIULIANI
Reservations for Life
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t dream about this place. I just can’t get the full bag out of my mind. It’s like I was destined to eat here. Thank you Chef!
JOSH HOLLY
Regular customer
A premiere establishment. It should have my family name on the building!
IVANKA GRUMP
Regular customer
Press
AGAINST US
“It’s everything you could ever imagine and more!”
Johnny Laub News
“You’ll never forget your first time at Richard’s!”
Velvet Reviews
“A feast for your eyes and a festival of flavors for your mouth!”
Valentina News
“For a restaurant that is invite only this place is PACKED every night. It’s like people just can’t help themselves!”
Marcello Magazine
The word from
OUR CHEF
I present to you a traditional meal that was passed down for generations in my family. One that is steeped in history and tradition. Full of pride and a joyous celebration of all the richness of life. Richard’s Buffet is the restaurant I was meant to lead. From the front-line staff to the dishwashers our entire family is committed to serving the highest quality dicks, in the most elegant setting, for a clientele that truly deserves our service.
Bon Appétit!
Richard Wallbanger
Head Chef
Richard’s Buffet © 2021 . All Rights Reserved.